i was a weird kid.
Growing up, my aunt and uncle lived nearby. Since they didn’t have kids at the time, they often volunteered to watch my sister and I for a weekend to give my parents a break and to give us kids a change of scenery. Still to this day the weird things I did are a family favorite and are always brought out from the family memory vault when we all get together.
Here are a few of my favorite little stories.
1. The Poop Farewell
One night I was there, I must have had a particularly successful poop sesh. I was apparently so proud of myself and took so much ownership over what I had accomplished that I didn’t want to let it go. That’s right — I did not want to flush the toilet. My understanding and creative aunt and uncle solved the problem by initiating a formal farewell. We all stood over the toilet and waved goodbye as we flushed the toilet together.
The family that says goodbye to their poop together stays together… Or something like that.
2. Rail Head
My aunt and uncle’s house was fairly new construction and had the newly trendy open foyer. The second story overlooked the foyer and had the standard railing with vertical posts. Being the genius that I was am, I put my head through the railings.
Does anyone see where this is going? I thought so.
I got stuck. I couldn’t get my head back out of the railing, and I freaked out. In the middle of my temper tantrum, my uncle lifted my head up to the wider space between posts and pulled me out.
I never claimed to be practical.
3. Jenny’s Wearing a Red Dress
Remember those Wee-Sing Singalongs? Well there was a tape that had “Sally’s Wearing a Red Dress” on it. Being the narcissist I was am, I obviously changed “Sally” to “Jenny”. I also insisted that my uncle STOP THE TAPE SO I CAN GO PUT ON MY RED DRESS. Except that I didn’t actually have a red dress — instead I used a red flannel nightgown. I also wore my black patent leather shoes and then sang the song at the top of my lungs. (Obviously a preview to my future in karaoke.)
4. McDonald’s Drive-Thru Disaster
My aunt thought she would try to be the cool aunt and treat me to a chicken nugget Happy Meal. We make it all through the drive-thru when she realizes she left her wallet at home. She was super embarrassed, and we went all the way home to get it and then came back to pay for my food. I, of course, had no tact whatsoever and for the rest of the day I announced to anyone within earshot “My aunt Leslie tried to go through McDonald’s without paying!”
Good thing they’re family and are required to love me.
Anyone else have any good family stories that always come out around holiday time?
Aunt Leslie has always been a thief.
Also, number one made me vom.
My Halloween birthday parties have resulted in numerous fun stories including my first birthday when:
Rainbow Bright rode off down the street on a big wheels
Me, as a pumpkin, went face first into birthday cake
Me, as a pumpkin, went face first into apple bobbing tub
And this is why I’m the best apple-bobber ever! Started training young.
Cheddar´s last blog ..Bitterella, Bitterella
I still have a hard time saying goodbye to some of my poos.
Maxie´s last blog ..Nano
I wore a tutu for a year.
Yes… A YEAR.
I used to always do the “bye poop!/bye pee!” when I took my niece to the bathroom. She loved it.
She’d say a little “bye” and I’d yell “Bye poop!!!!!” and grab her hand and wave it like we were standing on a dock and sending family members off on cruise. That cracked her up.
Though eventually the laughing with me turned into at me.
I remember Wee Sing! My best friend’s little brothers were OBSESSED with Wee Sing Sillyville.
My mom likes to tell the story about how I put half a tub of Vaseline in my hair when I was about 3 every chance she gets. I WAS 3! What the hell are you doing leaving Vaseline where I can reach it?
M´s last blog ..Things I ACTUALLY Watch
Hahaha…I have SOOOOOO many crazy/weird childhood stories that come out whenever. holidays or not.
One in particular (that gets told as frequently as possible), when I was like 7 or 8, I took a jar of vaseline and smeared in our bathtub. WTF?? I have no idea why I did it but I just did it.
My parents are convinced that I was trying to kill them but, of course, I was not.
thatShortChick´s last blog ..what I know for certain when I certainly don’t know
Actually, I’ve heard that the poo thing is actually quite common with toddlers (Ahem, Maxie..). Apparently, they get very attached to their poos. lol Go figure.
Aritza, Goddess of ..´s last blog ..Goddess of .. Let’s not jinx this, mkai ?!
Oh this was hilarious!
Don’t feel too bad.. i got my head stuck in between the bars. AT THE ZOO. I was peering over at the ducks and completely ignored the sign. I remember that panic like it was yesterday!
carissajaded´s last blog ..Just trying to be helpful
i told everyone that michael jackson was my boyfriend and got mad when they laughed at me. yes i think we were all a bit weird as children.
katelin´s last blog ..Why I couldn’t be in Cirque Du Soleil.
there are so many stories my family tells about me i don’t even know where to begin.
a lot of them revolve around birds and how scared of them i am.
also the poop story made me laugh out loud.
alexa – cleveland’s a plum´s last blog ..an unplanned day in the life
My family absolutely cannot get over the fact that my first word was “meow,” and for the longest time it was my ONLY word. They got such a kick out of asking me questions like “Where’s your blankie?” and me answering “meow!” to everything.
By the way, we didn’t have a cat till I was eight.
To this day, they will not shut up about it.
OH MY GOD. I AM BRINGING THAT WEE-SING TAPE TO BOSTON. WE ARE SINGING THAT SHIT TOGETHER.
and my aunt made me a version of Sally’s red dress for Easter one year. if we were children, i’d have let you borrow it :)
My parents went to a Lamaze class reunion a few months after they had my sister and for some reason I was brought along. Being 3 year old, I managed to get my head stuck in a metal chair, started freaking out and all I remember is about 3 grown men holding me down/getting me out. Yes, I was that kid.
We had all the Wee Sing’s at my house.
did you ever see the epi of full house where DJ was babysitting and the kid got his head stuck in the railing and they tried to get it out with butter? anyyyyyway.
i used to cry during “you are my sunshine.” i was concerned that they really WOULD take my sunshine away.
bigskygirlmt/raeleighjo´s last blog ..lions, kitties, pandas, zebras, and flamingos, oh my. only just a flamingo.